I had anticipated finishing this post yesterday (Saturday) afternoon while I thought I had both of my kids asleep for their naps, overlapping for a split second. Needless to say, it didn't happen. Which made for no solo mom time while my husband worked on things outside. So, my 'relaxing' bath included my six month old son staring at me from his seat on the bathroom, while I sat in the tub on Instagram and inhaled a granola bar. I spent the morning and afternoon (and evening) thinking about how to best word this post, and how to accurately title it. After a long day of nothing going to 'plan' (hello, mom life), which then makes it a challenge to not have an attitude toward your family; we got the boys to bed and watched 'Bad Moms' for the second time. So funny, so relatable, and ironically so comparable to what I had planned to post about. Exactly the humor I needed after a long day.
Ultimately, the preface of this post is a solid note of encouragement to all the moms out there, burning the candle at both ends, to be the best mom (and wife) possible, while trying to maintain your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. The pressure is no joke.. especially now with the comparison through social media. There's always going to be that 'supermom' who appears to have all her ducks in a row, with her picturesque West Elm home, perfect gourmet dinners and hot mom bod, not to mention that we probably don't even know her in real life because she's someone we follow on social media. There's a fine line between healthily striving to be a supermom and letting it consume you. What does #momgoals even mean?
Moms - We need to care for ourselves (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) in order to care for our spouse and children well too. I've got two children under 20 months old, and I've already found myself burning out, trying to be supermom. Sometimes I even convince myself that I'm a bad mom because of the things I feel that I'm lacking at.. keeping a clean enough house, meal prep and feeding my family well, working too much or not enough, slacking on growth milestones with my second born, propping a baby bottle instead of holding it, bathing my kids often enough, my toddler eating his snacks off the living room floor (after her dumped them out), running out of clean pajamas, not being patient, and most importantly, staying positive through it all and loving every minute with my kids.. (because all supermoms are happy, right?)
The comparrison NEEDS TO STOP. Why are some moms so judgemental, especially when we're all doing what we think is best? Or when some moms always have to 'one up' you or 'mom shame'. We're all learning as we go; parenthood, by my definition, is trial and error. I feel this overwhelming, undiscussed, stigma to be a perfect mom, and fully believe social media is to blame. Everyone's doing this parenting thing all wrong. You do YOU! The thing is, even when you're being your best self, someone will always disagree or be bitter/jealous toward you and your choices. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, 'Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway.' Water birth, natural, epidural or cesarean. If you're for bed sharing, share; if you're not, don't. If you're for vaccinating, great; if you're against it/delaying, great! If you're content with your postpartum body, that's incredible (you made a baby!); if you're not, make change to create change. Formula or breastmilk (Quickly found this one to be out of my control! Shout out to the moms with low supply.) Cloth diapers or disposables. Name brand this or hand-me-down that. Stay home mom or working mom. YOU DO YOU! Not everything goes according to plan. Stop longing for what you don't have. You already have everything you need to love your children and spouse well. The little things truly won't matter in the end. You're robbing yourself of today's joys.
Life is busy. Life is challenging. There will always be days that are rough, undoubtedly. Those are the days I thank God even more for my babies, and remind myself of the days I longed to be holding my baby, and of the mothers who haven't/can't hold their babies anymore.
Even in speaking with my husband about this topic, he agrees that moms are too hard on themselves, trying to be this 'ideal mom'. We need to ask for help when we need it. Ask for a break when we need it. (Yes, that includes spelling it out for your spouse when needed.) Fill your own cup first so you can pour into others'.
They say 'it's a mother's instinct' when it comes to nurturing and caring for your baby, and while I mostly agree, they also say 'it takes a village', and I fully agree! I think part of being a good mom is not being so hard on yourself. You're doing great! Your children don't notice your insecurities; you're already their supermom, and that's something to be proud of! Mothers need to unite as a tribe, to understand that we all share the same common ground/challenge - caring for and loving our families, the best way we know how, and we're continuing to learn better everyday. You are strong, you are admired, and you are your very own definition of a supermom.
Xoxo
Ultimately, the preface of this post is a solid note of encouragement to all the moms out there, burning the candle at both ends, to be the best mom (and wife) possible, while trying to maintain your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. The pressure is no joke.. especially now with the comparison through social media. There's always going to be that 'supermom' who appears to have all her ducks in a row, with her picturesque West Elm home, perfect gourmet dinners and hot mom bod, not to mention that we probably don't even know her in real life because she's someone we follow on social media. There's a fine line between healthily striving to be a supermom and letting it consume you. What does #momgoals even mean?
Moms - We need to care for ourselves (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) in order to care for our spouse and children well too. I've got two children under 20 months old, and I've already found myself burning out, trying to be supermom. Sometimes I even convince myself that I'm a bad mom because of the things I feel that I'm lacking at.. keeping a clean enough house, meal prep and feeding my family well, working too much or not enough, slacking on growth milestones with my second born, propping a baby bottle instead of holding it, bathing my kids often enough, my toddler eating his snacks off the living room floor (after her dumped them out), running out of clean pajamas, not being patient, and most importantly, staying positive through it all and loving every minute with my kids.. (because all supermoms are happy, right?)
The comparrison NEEDS TO STOP. Why are some moms so judgemental, especially when we're all doing what we think is best? Or when some moms always have to 'one up' you or 'mom shame'. We're all learning as we go; parenthood, by my definition, is trial and error. I feel this overwhelming, undiscussed, stigma to be a perfect mom, and fully believe social media is to blame. Everyone's doing this parenting thing all wrong. You do YOU! The thing is, even when you're being your best self, someone will always disagree or be bitter/jealous toward you and your choices. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, 'Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway.' Water birth, natural, epidural or cesarean. If you're for bed sharing, share; if you're not, don't. If you're for vaccinating, great; if you're against it/delaying, great! If you're content with your postpartum body, that's incredible (you made a baby!); if you're not, make change to create change. Formula or breastmilk (Quickly found this one to be out of my control! Shout out to the moms with low supply.) Cloth diapers or disposables. Name brand this or hand-me-down that. Stay home mom or working mom. YOU DO YOU! Not everything goes according to plan. Stop longing for what you don't have. You already have everything you need to love your children and spouse well. The little things truly won't matter in the end. You're robbing yourself of today's joys.
Life is busy. Life is challenging. There will always be days that are rough, undoubtedly. Those are the days I thank God even more for my babies, and remind myself of the days I longed to be holding my baby, and of the mothers who haven't/can't hold their babies anymore.
Even in speaking with my husband about this topic, he agrees that moms are too hard on themselves, trying to be this 'ideal mom'. We need to ask for help when we need it. Ask for a break when we need it. (Yes, that includes spelling it out for your spouse when needed.) Fill your own cup first so you can pour into others'.
They say 'it's a mother's instinct' when it comes to nurturing and caring for your baby, and while I mostly agree, they also say 'it takes a village', and I fully agree! I think part of being a good mom is not being so hard on yourself. You're doing great! Your children don't notice your insecurities; you're already their supermom, and that's something to be proud of! Mothers need to unite as a tribe, to understand that we all share the same common ground/challenge - caring for and loving our families, the best way we know how, and we're continuing to learn better everyday. You are strong, you are admired, and you are your very own definition of a supermom.
Xoxo
